Julian Assange’s Online Dating Profile

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Hey, Ladies, looking for the intellectual, Nordic type? The type that is 87% slut and 77% perfect? How about someone who is intellectually sexy and smart? Add in a little rationalist and atheist and here is your man…

Julian Assange.

Before he acquired fame and rape charges, Assange placed a profile on OKCupid under the alias Harry Harrison. It is either him or someone who has done an extraordinary hack job.

Here are a few things Assange had to say about himself.

“Want a regular, down to earth guy? Keep moving. I am not the droid you’re looking for. Save us both while you still can.

“Passionate, and often pig headed activist intellectual seeks siren for love affair, children and occasional criminal conspiracy.

“Such a woman should spirited and playful, of high intelligence, though not necessarily formally educated, have spunk, class & inner strength and be able to think strategically about the world and the people she cares about.

“I like women from countries that have sustained political turmoil. Western culture seems to forge women that are valueless and inane. OK. Not only women!

“Although I am pretty intellectually and physically pugnacious I am very protective of women and children.

“I am DANGER, ACHTUNG, and ??????????????!”

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Now, tell me, can any woman resist that?

In case there is any doubt that this is Assange, here is what he says that he is doing with his life.

“Directing a consuming, dangerous human rights project which is, as you might expect, male dominated. Variously professionally involved in international journalism/books, documentaries, cryptography, intelligence agencies, civil rights, political activism, white collar crime and the internet. Formal background in neuroscience, mathematics, physics and philosophy.”

Assange described himself as thinking a lot about “Changing the world through passion, inspiration and trickery.”

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He also wrote that he can live without anything in life “except the loss of female company and carbon.”

Assange also admits that he has “asian teengirl stalkers.” That might be a problem if you are looking for a little private time with Assange. One never knows when they might appear.

Assange was last online OKCupid on December 31, 2006. It appears that he has forgotten his profile. However, the internet never forgets.

Probably the most amazing part of the profile are the 42 tests that Assange took. He was either very bored or looking very hard for some female companionship.

So if you are between 22 and 46 (Assange’s parameters) and living anywhere in the world, click here for the man of your dreams.

One more thing, but it is absent from his profile, Assange is not adept at using a condom.

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