Jester’s Court — March 23, 2012

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Barack Obama arrived in Roswell, New Mexico, with this pronouncement: “I come in peace.”

Jeb Bush, who signed the “stand your ground” law into effect, on the Trayvor Martin case: “Stand your ground means stand your ground. It doesn’t mean chase after somebody who’s turned their back.”

Now you can download comments from Rhode Island Governor Lincoln Chaffee as ringtones.

Actually, Mr. President, the U.S produces 10% of its oil needs, not 2%. Otherwise, the U.S. would be importing 90% of its oil, not 50%.

French President Nicholas Sarkozy wants those who peruse hate websites put into jail.

Syrian rebels are running out of ammunition as black market supplies dry up, neighboring countries tighten their borders and international promises of help fail to materialize.

The Australian government has decided that it is not in the public interest to release secret meetings about anti-piracy negotiations.

An official in St. Petersburg, Russia, said Madonna will be arrested if she follows through on a threat to speak out against the city’s ordinance prohibiting pro-gay speech during her Aug. 9 concert there.

A nearly-bankrupt town on the outskirts of Osaka, Japan, has proposed renting out the name of the community to a company or organization.

Former South Carolina state Rep. Thad Viers has been indicted on stalking and harassment charges.

A review of lower court rulings by conservative judges, subtle signals from individual justices and interviews with professors and judges across the ideological spectrum suggest that the Supreme Court will uphold Barack Obama’s healthcare law.

The mayor of a southwest North Dakota town wants to do mock hangings to attract tourists.

A bill in the Arizona legislature would require the unemployed to take a drug test before receiving benefits. And they would have to pay for it.

The city manager of Keller, Texas, declaring municipal management positions needed to be trimmed, announced his own layoff.

Newt Gingrich accused Barack Obama of turning Trayvor Martin’s death into a racial issue.

At a campaign stop at a firing range, while Rick Santorum was firing off some rounds, a woman shouted, “pretend it’s Obama.”

North Carolina Rep. Brad Miller said that if Duke’s basketball team were to play a theoretical game against the Taliban, he would have to “pull for the Taliban.”

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