Jester’s Court — May 12-13, 2012

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Kansas passed an anti-Sharia bill because as we all know Kansas is about to fall under Islamic law. On a positive note, “happy hour” is now legal.

Georgia opened a prison for veterans.

The Vermont House has passed a resolution thanking one of its members for the peanut M&Ms.

The federal government commissioned a study to study studies.

The United States has become the world’s fastest growing oil producer.

Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul: “Call me cynical, but I didn’t think his (Obama) views on marriage could get any gayer.”

Being in politics means having to say you’re sorry.

Ron Paul activists booed Mitt Romney’s son off the stage at the Arizona Republican Party convention. References to the “white Obama” could be heard.

Libertarian nominee for President and former New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson said that he was “disappointed” that Barack Obama was leaving the choice of same-sex marriage to the states instead of advocating a federal law to guarantee it.

After being inaugurated as Russia’s president, Vladimir Putin skipped a formal celebration and played a hockey game.

An Italian man becomes mayor by accident.

People seriously injured or maimed by terrorist attacks across the world would be granted automatic legal rights to compensation and rehabilitation under far-reaching changes to rebalance international law in favour of victims, a UN report will recommend next month.

Outgoing French leader Nicolas Sarkozy will face a slew of legal probes into corruption and campaign financing violations after he leaves office next week and loses his presidential immunity.

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez is back from another cancer treatment in Cuba. Once again, he said it was successful.

Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad: Israel is “nothing more than a mosquito” to Iran.

Mitt Romney said the protesters rallying against Bank of America in Charlotte this week are too young “to really understand how the economy works.”

Queen Elizabeth’s panties are for sale on eBay.

Dear Mom: Please vote to legalize pot in Colorado because I like it better than beer.

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