Jester’s Court — June 21, 2012

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A declassified document reveals that the CIA delivered a briefing to the Bush administration which directly contradicts former Vice President Dick Cheney’s claim that 9/11 hijacker Mohamed Atta visited an Iraqi intelligence official in Prague.

Is Obama soft on vampires?

Okay. The conspiracies involving Barack Obama have moved from the ridiculous to the impossible. An email circulating states that Obama’s mother was born a man and changed her sex. There was no explanation on how she could have given birth to two children.

Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett said that he is convinced Obama was born in Hawaii, but he now believes the president fraudulently claimed to be born in Kenya so he could get into college.

Venezuela and Germany are arguing over a 35-ton rock.

Uruguay could become the first country in the world to sell marijuana to its citizens.

Indonesian tax collectors will get three weeks of military physical training from the president’s security forces in an effort to build up their muscles and moral fiber.

Birther Gary Kreep appears to have won a narrow victory to become a judge for the San Diego Superior Court.

Pity the billionaire political donors.

Samuel “Joe the Plumber” Wurzelbacher said that he “wasn’t talking about the Holocaust” when the campaign video he released mentioned 6 million Jews exterminated between 1938 to 1945.

63% of Republicans believe that Saddam Hussein had WMDs when the United States invaded in 2003.

For the first time, a majority of Americans admit that they would vote for an atheist for president.

Ron Paul for vice-president?

Mitt Romney has a problem in swing states: Republican governors who are trumping their work at improving the economies. Romney wants to keep the news bad until November.

In Oklahoma, a candidate for state representative says the swastika he is wearing in a snapshot was part of his Halloween costume.

The Romney campaign held a $400 meeting at a racy Arizona nightclub that boasts a “specialty champagne bar in the co-ed bathroom.”

Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy wants the U.S. to pay for future wars upfront, not by borrowing and burdening future generations.

“I’d give him a B for governing. I’d give him an A for strangeness.”

The Supreme Court has thrown out fines and sanctions against broadcasters who violated the Federal Communications Commission policy regulating curse words and nudity on broadcast television.

The first serious proposal to compensate victims of forced sterilization failed when North Carolina legislators said they were not approving any money for them.

A new Louisiana law requires sex offenders and child predators to state their criminal status on their Facebook or other social networking page.

Homeland Security is expected to seize a 70-million-year-old dinosaur skeleton that was discovered in Mongolia more 65 years ago.

Michigan state Rep. Wayne Schmidt stated that the female lawmaker who used “vagina” in a sentence went too far in the context used and needed a timeout.

This is a stretch. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi charged that the contempt vote against Attorney General Eric Holder for “Fast and Furious” is really about Holder’s attempts to stop voter suppression.

 

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