North Korea Announces Discovery of Unicorn Lair

I would consider this North Korea’s attempt at The Onion, except the North Korean government is humorless. In North Korea, the government runs everything. The Korean Central News Agency is the voice of the Korean government. When they start running stories on unicorns, it’s not a loose journalist in the newsroom. It is an official government story.

Here is the official version of the story, which must be seen in its entirety to be believed:

(Source: Korean Central News Agency)

 

If you’re like me, and King Tongmyong skips your memory, here is a link about his tomb.

Tongmyong is a famous person in Korean history and that is the basis for the story. The last sentence in the article explains why the discovery of this unicorn lair is so important.

The discovery of the unicorn lair, associated with legend about King Tongmyong, proves that Pyongyang was a capital city of Ancient Korea as well as Koguryo Kingdom.”

There you have it. Pyongyang, the capitol of North Korea, can lay further claim to its importance in antiquity and as the center of the universe. It is the home of famed unicorn rider Tongmyong, the Kim family and, of course, unicorns.

Nuclear-armed unicorn believers. Now that is a scary thought. Is there anyone out there who doubts that this government isn’t run by a bunch of corrupt, criminal kooks?

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