Texas Legislator: Ping-Pong More Dangerous than Guns

Weapons of mass destruction? (Source: Michael Knowles (CC))

Kyle Kacal hasn’t yet assumed office as a Texas state representative, but he is already proving that he belongs in office with some of the other legislators who have spent too much time in the Texas sun.

Kacal is a rancher and operates a hunting business. He should understand guns. Instead, he is an expert on ping-pong or not.

“I’ve heard of people being killed playing ping-pong—ping-pongs are more dangerous than guns,” he says. “Flat-screen TVs are injuring more kids today than anything.”

Nope, not an Onion story. Kacal really said that. Ping-pong balls kill people, not guns, not people. Or is it the paddles that he is talking about?

With that in mind, the state of Texas is waiting for Kacal to introduce his first bill – the abolition of table tennis. Maybe he won’t do that, but he must do something about flat-screen TVs, right?

Actually, falling flat-screen TVs are dangerous for kids, especially those under the age of six. Kacal said more than that though. He claims that they are more dangerous than anything to kids. A little hyperbole never hurt anyone at least.

Having informed the world of the dangers of ping-pong, Kacal explained why there is no need for more gun laws.

“People know what they need to do to be safe. We don’t need to legislate that—it’s common sense,” he said. “Once everyone’s gun is locked up, then the bad guys know everyone’s gun is locked up.”

Speaking of dangers to kids six and under, Kacal should explain that “common sense” to the parents of the children who perished at Sandy Hook Elementary.

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