Jester’s Court — March 1, 2013

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doubtfulFormer Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin said that the federal government is “stockpiling bullets in case of civil unrest.”

politicsNew York Rep. Peter King, a Republican, blasted fellow Republican and Florida Sen. Marco Rubio’s fundraising trip to New York. King said that New Yorkers shouldn’t give money to him or any of the others in Congress who voted against Hurricane Sandy aid.

politicsSome California Republicans are upset that their next vice-chair for the state is a Sikh. The problem is that they don’t know the difference between Sikhism and Islam.

half-witA Connecticut legislator was stripped of his position as deputy speaker after making a lewd comment to a 17-year-old girl during a committee hearing: “If you are shy, then I have a live snake under this desk.”

half-witAn Oklahoma legislator suggested many people try to get hurt on the job so that they can collect workmen’s compensation.

governmentsVirginia eliminated the crime of “lewd and lascivious cohabitation,” despite 25 legislators voting to keep it.

governmentsIdaho is giving up its governor’s mansion without a governor ever having lived in it.

governmentsThe sequester may bring an end to the Blue Angels.

newsBarack Obama pardoned 17 people for nonviolent offenses, including a man who pleaded guilty more than 20 years ago to laundering Canadian fish and selling them to the Defense Department as American fish.

bizarreDennis Rodman and Kim Jong-un are BFF.

OopsWhile speaking about the upcoming sequester, Barack Obama said the phrase “Jedi mind meld,” accidentally combining the term “Jedi mind trick” from Star Wars and the “Vulcan mind meld” from Star Trek.

internationalSweden’s top general suggested that Sweden only has the capability to fight one minor war and for only a week.

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