Jester’s Court — March 13, 2013

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internationalVenezuela will set up a formal inquiry into claims that deceased President Hugo Chavez’s cancer was the result of poisoning by his enemies abroad. In other words, the United States.

internationalThe Argentine Congress broke into a fight between those wanting to continue a ceremony honoring late Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and those wanting to listen to the new Pope.

internationalVladimir Putin called upon Steven Seagal to usher in a new Soviet-era fitness initiative to Russia.

factsThis is the first time a new pope has taken a name that hasn’t already been used by a former pope since Pope Lando in 913.

bizarreBritain’s House of Lords takes up the question everyone wants an answer: “What happens if we have a lesbian queen in a same-sex marriage who conceives using an egg implanted with donor sperm?”

bizarreA local politician in the southern Japan city of Oita has been banned from council meetings for refusing to take off his full-face wrestling mask.

corruptionFlorida Lt. Governor Jennifer Carroll resigned Wednesday, days after state law enforcement officials interviewed her about her work for a nonprofit organization under state and federal investigation.

northkoreaNorth Korea’s first public mention of South Korea’s first female president ended up being a sexist crack. The body that controls North Korea’s military complained about the “venomous swish” of her skirt.

doubtfulThe mayor of Freeport, New York, tried to claim that he was endorsed by Barack Obama.

quotes“It is good politics to oppose the black guy in the White House right now, especially for the Republican Party.”

foolishThe Obama administration is drawing up plans to give all U.S. spy agencies full access to a massive database that contains financial data on American citizens and others who bank in the country.

videoJoe Biden explains a “garden variety slap across a face.”

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