Proof! Alien Shapeshifters Protecting the President

Obviously, the mainstream media is trying to cover up the story of the millenium. Alien shapeshifters are protecting Obama. According to the makers of the video that caught a reptilian-like shapeshifter working for the Secret Service, these aliens are the Anunnaki. The original Annunaki were Babylonian deities, but modern fantasies…err, research has actually uncovered them as ancient astronauts from the planet Nibiru.

Everyone knows that shapeshifters can’t hold their fake identities for too long without shifting back to their original form. Clearly, this shapeshifter was on the job too long. He missed his break when he turns back into a scaly lizard or something.

Even more startingly, we learn that Obama, the aliens and Jews are together in a “Zionist cabal.” Who knew that the aliens were Jewish? At least that explains how a burning bush could talk to Moses. It was a shapeshifter assuming the form of a bush on fire.

If only the scientists searching the stars would point their telescopes toward Nibiru, then the truth about the Zionist cabal could be unveiled. Yet I suspect those ET scientists are in the conspiracy. How else to explain why they can’t find alien life when it is guarding the White House?

This might just explain why no one can find Obama’s real birth certificate too. He isn’t from Kenya or Hawaii but Nibiru. Someone needs to get this information to Orly Taitz fast so she can file another lawsuit exposing the birth certificate fraud. Hmm, then again, she comes across so weird she must be part of the conspiracy and trying to direct our attention away from Nibiru.

Fortunately, someone questioned National Security Council chief spokeswoman Caitlin Hayden. Look at her comments, which neither confirm nor deny that a shapeshifter is close to the President. We know what it means when the security officials refuse to say yes or no. It means it must be true!

The White House dismissed the alien bodyguards as too costly in this era of budgetary austerity. “I can’t confirm the claims made in this video, but any alleged program to guard the president with aliens or robots would likely have to be scaled back or eliminated in the sequester,” Caitlin Hayden, the chief spokeswoman for the National Security Council, e-mails Danger Room. “I’d refer you to the Secret Service or Area 51 for more details.”

That’s very sly of Hayden. She knows the public doesn’t have access to Area 51 so the question can’t be answered.

The internet is a great thing, but it is bringing every nut with a loony conspiracy into full view of the world. If aliens were really running the world, it would seem that their advanced culture would be doing a far better job. It is just our luck that earth gets the incompetent aliens who can’t even shapeshift properly.

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