Jester’s Court: August 22, 2013

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  • The 1902 Office of Indian Affairs order requiring male Native Americans to cut their hair so they can continue their advancement to civilization.
  • Former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau calledRichard Nixon to offer his condolences about “the Watergate thing.”
  • Bradley Manning has done moretime in prison than Lieutenant William Calley did for ordering the My Lai massacre.
  • The gerrymandering jigsaw puzzle.
  • Video-game playing Supreme Court Justices.
  • The White House chef who fooled the Clintons.
  • Bradley Manning is seeking a presidential pardon.
  • Manning intends to begin hormone therapy and live the rest of his life as a woman.
  • A gay-hating, racist employee from the Department of Homeland Security is moonlighting with a website promotingrace war.
  • Texas Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst called police and asked to talk to the highest-ranking officer about getting a relative out of jail.
  • San Diego Mayor Bob Filner has agreed to resign.
  • A New Jersey farmer has cut the faces of Republican Gov. Chris Christie and his Democratic challenger into a corn maze to highlight the state’s gubernatorial election.
  • Oklahoma Sen. Tom Coburn thinks Barack Obama is getting “perilously” close to being impeached.
  • China announced that it will no longer take organs from executed prisoners.
  • A Russian official says that nation’s anti-gay laws aren’t discriminatory because they apply to all people.
  • Pope Benedict resigned after God told him too.
  • Toronto Mayor Robert Ford wants to arm-wrestle Hulk Hogan.
  • Germany is the first European country to recognize a third gender.
  • Germany sets a new solar production record.
  • Egyptian interim Prime Minister Hazem el-Beblawi does “not fear civil war.”
  • A Canadian city is using a drone to chase awasy its geese problem.
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