Category Archives: Jester’s Court

Jester’s Court — November 27, 2013

The NSA intended to use online porn viewing habits of terrorist sympathizers to discredit them

The list of news agencies boycotting the use of official White House photography is growing, over what it says is an unprecedented lack of access to the president.

Colorado Rep. Jared Polis has introduced a bill to allow marijuana users to buy guns.

58% of Americans want to see Obamacare repealed; 54% believe that the problems plaguing it will be resolved.

California Rep. Darrell Issa’s “Obamacare hearings” are more of a propaganda show, despite what he claims.

In Pennsylvania, the former chairman of Montgomery County’s Republican Party was charged with drugging a female employee of his law firm and raping her while she was unconscious.

An Alabama commissioner claimed that his arrest was unwarranted. He says he couldn’t have wanted to have sex with a 15-year-old girl on Craigslist because he is impotent.

There’s going to be a recount in the Virginia attorney general’s race which was won by 165 votes out of 2.2 million.

An effort to put an initiative on the California ballot that wouldraise the minimum wage to $12 is being pushed by a billionaire conservative activist.

The Italian Senate has voted to oust Silvio Berlusconi from the parliament.

India’s nuclear scientists are dying.

Zimbabwe is moving ahead with banning foreigners from operating many basic businesses.

Angola bans Islam.

Richard Simmons said that the Obamas have “rejected” him.

Sasha Obama has had enough of this presidential stuff.

Jester’s Court: August 24, 2013

  • Venezuelan President Nicolás Maduro claims to regularly sleep in the mausoleum that houses Hugo Chavez’s remains.
  • Turkish Prime Minister Recep Erdogan criticized the Obama administration for not accepting his premise that Israel was behind the overthrow of Egyptian President Mohamed Morsi.
  • In Florida, a city councilman raised opposition to the construction of a mosque because of the “wailing music” that it will cause in the neighborhood.
  • A neo-Nazi plot to build an all-white city in North Dakota.
  • Maine Gov. Paul LePage has apologized for charging that Barack Obama hates white people.
  • Misfortune keeps following him. New York mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner was uninjuredin a traffic accident.
  • A Washington state Congressman isseekinglegislation that would allow marijuana businesses to be able to conduct business through banks and credit unions.
  • A potential candidate for San Diego mayor has been accused of masturbating in a public men’s room.
  • Ted Cruz won’t endorse fellow Republican and Texas Senator John Cornyn in the GOP primary.
  • House Speaker John Boehner is highly unpopular in his home state of Ohio.
  • Utah’s new law to screen welfare recipients for drug use has nabbed a total of 12 violators over the last year.
  • North Korea is angry that Switzerland won’t sell them ski lifts.

Jester’s Court: August 23, 2013

Australia’s former Deputy Prime Minister Tim Fischer: “I am angry because it is corrupting the world, this gun culture of the United States.”

Former U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton: “Gay marriage is something I’ve thought about at length as I’ve looked at my future.”

Ted Cruz admits that he is a citizen of Ethiopia.

Donald Trump doesn’t want to talk about Cruz’s birth certificate.

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner goes down, but not quietly, as he blames a “coup.”

Texas Gov. Rick Perry goes “poaching” for jobs in Missouri, which ruffles some feathers.

San Francisco City Attorney Dennis Herrera is demanding that Nevada reimburse California cities and counties for treatment of about 500 indigent psychiatric patients who were given one-way bus tickets to the Golden State in recent years.

The Obama administration has come out against dog breed specific legislation.

Conservatives’ new cause: Saving cursive in the schools so kids can read the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.

Aaron Klein’s new book Impeachable Offenses: The Case for Removing Barack Obama from Office presents the case that Obamacare is unconstitutional and impeachable despite the Supreme Court ruling that it is constitutional.

Russian President Vladimir Putin has signed an executive order forbidding protests during the 2014 Olympic Games.

Jester’s Court: August 22, 2013

  • The 1902 Office of Indian Affairs order requiring male Native Americans to cut their hair so they can continue their advancement to civilization.
  • Former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau calledRichard Nixon to offer his condolences about “the Watergate thing.”
  • Bradley Manning has done moretime in prison than Lieutenant William Calley did for ordering the My Lai massacre.
  • The gerrymandering jigsaw puzzle.
  • Video-game playing Supreme Court Justices.
  • The White House chef who fooled the Clintons.
  • Bradley Manning is seeking a presidential pardon.
  • Manning intends to begin hormone therapy and live the rest of his life as a woman.
  • A gay-hating, racist employee from the Department of Homeland Security is moonlighting with a website promotingrace war.
  • Texas Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst called police and asked to talk to the highest-ranking officer about getting a relative out of jail.
  • San Diego Mayor Bob Filner has agreed to resign.
  • A New Jersey farmer has cut the faces of Republican Gov. Chris Christie and his Democratic challenger into a corn maze to highlight the state’s gubernatorial election.
  • Oklahoma Sen. Tom Coburn thinks Barack Obama is getting “perilously” close to being impeached.
  • China announced that it will no longer take organs from executed prisoners.
  • A Russian official says that nation’s anti-gay laws aren’t discriminatory because they apply to all people.
  • Pope Benedict resigned after God told him too.
  • Toronto Mayor Robert Ford wants to arm-wrestle Hulk Hogan.
  • Germany is the first European country to recognize a third gender.
  • Germany sets a new solar production record.
  • Egyptian interim Prime Minister Hazem el-Beblawi does “not fear civil war.”
  • A Canadian city is using a drone to chase awasy its geese problem.

Jester’s Court: August 21, 2013

  • Former New Hampshire Gov. Howard Dean is testing the waters in Iowa and New Hampshire for another presidential run.
  • Texas Sen. Ted Cruz said the questions about his presidential eligibility were “the silly season of politics.”
  • Three-quarters of Louisiana Republicans either blame Obama or can’t decide whether he or George W. Bush was to blame for Hurricane Katrina in 2005.
  • The Egyptian defense minister has ordered the repair and reconstruction of all Coptic churches that suffered damage from the Muslim Brotherhood.
  • Now that the Obamas have a new dog, answers are needed to the pressing question: Why don’t they have any white dogs?Michigan Rep. Kerry Bentivolio wants to impeach the President and wishes he could find some evidence.
  • An agreement has been reached between the city and San Diego Mayor Bob Filner after three days of mediation.
  • Barack Obama doesn’t favor changing medical marijuana laws “at this point.”
  • A New Jersey mayor is beingforced to sell his home because he can’t pay for the property taxes

Jester’s Court: August 4, 2013

Anthony Weiner said that he is “100%” not sexting now.

Special license plates for Colorado legislators allow them to avoid speeding tickets and parking fines because the plates are not listed in the DMV database.

Two Michigan lawmakers want thrill seekers to pay for their own rescues.

China is setting up a website to debunk internet rumors.

Thailand declares Bitcoin illegal.

A Russian legislator wants to make profanity on the internet illegal.

Iran’s president-elect, Hassan Rouhani, was incorrectly quoted calling Israel “a sore which must be removed.”

Japan launched an un-manned cargo transporter along with a small talking robot, which will serve as a companion to Japanese astronaut Koichi Wakata who is onboard the International Space Station.

In attempts to boost one of Europe’s lowest law birthrates, a new law went into effect in Germany guaranteeing every child over 12 months of age a slot at a daycare facility.

Jester’s Court: August 2, 2013

Some Texas Republicans want State Senator Wendy Davis toreimburse the state $800,000 for the expenses her filibuster of an abortion bill caused.

The United States Postal Service is taking pictures of your mail.

California is looking to ban e-cigarettes where real tobacco is barred.

EPA directors appointed by Republican Presidents call for Congress to do something about climate change.

An electric-car company co-founded by Virginia gubernatorial candidate Terry McAuliffe is being investigated by the Securities and Exchange Commission over its conduct in soliciting foreign investors.

Eliot Spitzer, who lives apart from his wife, sidesteppedquestions that he might have a girlfriend on the side.

The mayor of Mobile, Alabama, is running for reelection and identifying himself as a husband, except that he is divorced.

Two write-in candidates for mayor of Detroit have almostidentical names.

Ahead of his inauguration, Iran’s new “moderate” presidentcalled Israel an “old wound” that should be removed.

Members of the House of Commons are being told to stop rubbing statues of Margaret Thatcher and Winston Churchill.

Zimbabwe President Robert Mugabe has won nearly a two-thirds majority in parliament in a fraudulent but peaceful election.

New York Rep. Charles Rangel said that the conservatives who make up the tea party are the “same white crackers” who fought the U.S. civil rights movement.

Jester’s Court: August 1, 2013

  • Uruguay prepares to legalize marijuana.
  • Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi verdict by the Supreme Court over charges of fraud that could see him banished from political life has been confirmed.
  • The United States has turned down an extradition request by Bolivia to send back a former president accused of genocide.
  • The latest poll finds Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell slightly trailing Kentucky Secretary of State Alison Lundergan Grimes for next year’s race.
  • Jimmy McMillan “the rent is too damn high guy” endorsedAnthony Weiner.
  • Breaking down the real reason for the Rand Paul-Chris Christie fight, and why it won’t disappear before 2016.
  • San Diego Mayor Bob Filner is no longer allowed to meet women on city property without a chaperone.
  • $36 million in farm subsidies were paid to dead people.
  • Playboy and Penthouse were deemed appropriate for sale at military bases, but now they are being pulled. The reason? Decreasing demand.
  • Texas is running out of its execution drug.
  • The Pennsylvania judge who received bribes for placing kids in juvenile detention has been sentenced to 28 years in prison.

Jester’s Court: July 31, 2013

  • Creationists are assuming a prominent position in reviewing Texas textbooks on science.
  • San Diego has responded to Mayor Bob Filner’s attempt to get the city pay his legal bills by suing him for damages it expects to pay out to the victims.
  • An eastern Pennsylvania police chief who went on profanity-laced video rants against those who disagreed with him on gun laws has been suspended for 30 days without pay.
  • Texas Sen. Ted Cruz is still pushing a shutdown of the government to stop Obamacare. He doesn’t think it will be a big deal because the government shuts down every Saturday and Sunday.
  • San Diego Mayor Bob Filner’s lawyer claims that since the mayor didn’t get sexual harassment training after being elected to office, then the city is at fault for Filner’s behavior.
  • A sex tape from Monica Lewinsky to Bill Clinton has surfaced.
  • Arizona Sen. Jeff Flake makes the most beautiful list.
  • Russia may prosecute gay athletes who come for the 2014 Winter Olympics.
  • Syrian President Bashar Assad is now on Instagram.
  • Zimbabwe votes in a repeat of its 2008 election. Hopefully, without the violence.
  • A Russian lawmaker has asked parliament to give women two days paid leave a month when they menstruate.
  • Italian police have arrested a conservative Catholic politician who allegedly forced needy young women into sexual encounters by promising them public housing in return.
  • Germany moves from nuclear power…to coal. So much for being green.
  • Belarussian President Alexander Lukashenko one ups Russian President Vladimir Putin by catching a catfish of 126 lbs.
  • If things aren’t bad enough for Detroit, hundreds of dog carcasses are piling up because the city doesn’t have the money to cremate them.

Jester’s Court: July 30, 2013

  • Sarah Palin leads among Republicans for the Alaska Senate seat up next year, but she trails Sen. Paul Begich badly in the general election.
  • Mitt Romney redefines the 47% comment that he made.
  • North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory signed a restrictive abortion bill into law that he promised in last year’s campaign not to do.
  • Barack Obama will propose a “grand bargain for middle-class jobs” on that would cut the U.S. corporate tax rate and use billions in revenues generated by a business tax overhaul to fund projects aimed at creating jobs.
  • Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker said that his position on public unions is just like FDR’s.
  • Kentucky Sen. Rand Paul became the first senator to voteagainst an FBI director’s confirmation since the death of J. Edgar Hoover in 1972.
  • Cardinal Timothy Dolan said that Pope Francis didn’t actually mean what he said about gays.
  • An Arkansas school district, with no history of gun violence, ispassing out guns to its teachers.
  • A bill in the Texas legislature would require an adoption education course before a woman could have an abortion.
  • Hawaii is offering one-way flights out of the state to homeless people.
  • Penthouse and Playboy will continue to be sold at military bases.
  • Donald Trump made a mind-blowing observation that something is “mentally wrong” with Anthony Weiner. He should have included himself in that assessment too.
  • Anthony Weiner’s spokeswoman issued an apology after a profanity-laced interview in which she described a former campaign intern as a fame hungry “bitch” and “slutbag” who “sucked” at her job.
  • Ukraine faces a historic choice: Turn to the West or Russia.
  • Britain’s new anti-porn internet law will ban a lot more than porn.