• Toronto’s public health agency said that a restaurant that is encouraging sex in the bathrooms is not breaking any laws as long as the bathrooms are kept clean and no one does it in the kitchen. “As far as bodily fluids, it’s pretty much similar to the other human functions going on in there.”
• Judges are increasingly worried about the use of electronic devices, like iPhones and Blackberries by jurors.
• The Civil Rights Division of the Department of Justice is looking for 10 attorneys. Qualified applicants with certain disabilities are encouraged to apply. That is where it gets weird. One of those disabilities is mental retardation. I know it is just boilerplate language encouraging those with disabilities, but even so it is an odd use of language. Mentally retarded attorneys sounds like a punch line for a bad joke.
• Brazilian judges have lifted a ban on the use of religious symbols during Rio de Janeiro’s Carnival.
• France has refused granting citizenship to a man who forced his wife to wear a veil.
• The copyright on Mein Kampf is set to expire in 2015, and Germany will republish the book for the first time since the end of World War II.
• Maricopa County, Arizona, Sheriff Joe Arpaio may face sanctions for destroying records relevant to a racial profiling lawsuit.
• Former Rep. Tom Tancredo explained why Barack Obama was elected President. “We do not have a civics, literacy test before people can vote in this country.”
• Sloths are out as pets in Alaska.
• A judge has ruled that the John Edwards sex tape a former Edwards’ aide possesses must be turned over to the court and held “under lock and key” until a lawsuit over the ownership of the tape is decided.

Mian Gul Akbar Zeb is a distinguished diplomat in Pakistan’s foreign service. In the past, he has served as Pakistan’s ambassador to the United States, South Africa and India. Freshly returned to Pakistan after a stint as High Commissioner Designate to Canada, Zeb now cannot find any place that will accept his credentials.

Apparently, Zeb wishes for placement in a Muslim nation, probably an Arabic-speaking one. That is the problem.

Akbar Zeb is not a polite word in Arabic. When I used three different online translators for this article, I twice got the translation for Akbar Zeb as “the biggest cock.” The other translator gave “the biggest inspired by,” which is about the same meaning.

Akbar Zeb has been submitted as ambassador to the United Arab Emirates, Bahrain and Saudi Arabia. All three have turned Akbar Zeb away without reason. The theory in the Arabic-language article mentioned above is that the United States does not want Akbar Zeb to have a prominent role in Pakistani foreign relations because of his expertise on economic matters.

International sources, such as Foreign Policy, speculate that the Arabic speaking countries are rejecting Akbar Zeb because of his impolite name.

I do not completely buy that. Although I found some chatter from Arabic speakers about the humorous aspects of his name, the thought that Akbar Zeb is being turned away because of his name is not being discussed prominently in the non-English speaking internet. That probably means that his name is not the reason.

Then again, the Saudis punish women who have been sexually victimized and send terrorists to the equivalent of reform school so I would not put past them the possibility that they might reject the credentials of Pakistan’s “biggest cock” solely on his name.

• Pakistan’s Provincial Minister for Commerce, Investment and Prisons Chaudhry Abdul Ghafoor urged that cell phones be banned except for government officials and other influential people.
• China censored this year’s Oscar nominations after a documentary of the Sichuan earthquake was nominated.
• Prince Charles said that he faces “unbelievable abuse” every time he speaks his mind.
• The media has been barred from the Anwar Ibrahim sodomy trial in Malaysia.
• Canadian Prime Minister Steven would rather play in the NHL than be prime minister.
• Kansas gubernatorial candidate Herbert West announced that his decision to end his candidacy was only a publicity stunt and that he is back in the race. Last year, West announced he was running for governor, then also dropped out and rejoined the race again.
• India’s high court ruled that sex before marriage is rape.
• “I’ve been to Guantanamo,” said Senator Orrin Hatch. “It’s pretty nice compared to Illinois — the place in Illinois where they want to put them (accused terrorists).”
• Scott Brown may be taking Ted Kennedy’s seat in the Senate, but John Kerry is taking his desk.
• Sex-change expenses are tax deductible.
• The Internet was nominated for the 2010 Nobel Peace Prize.
• Arizona is proceeding with criminalizing sexting for minors.
• First it was Bush with the word “nuclear,” now its Obama with “Corpsman.”
• California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said, “No one wants to go Iowa” and “Florida is known for the old people.”
• Georgia may join a handful of other states that have banned the forced implant of a microchip into a person.
• Alabama Senator Richard Shelby put a “blanket hold” on all 70 Obama appointees before the Senate. Shelby wants billions in earmarks transferred to his state.

There’s only two things that I can say about Carly Fiorina’s attack ad against Tom Campbell in their contest for the California Republican nomination for U.S. Senate. First, the ads are getting interesting. And, second, they are getting weird.

Fiorina suggests that Campbell is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but it is also strange to see her ad using sheep to symbolize fiscal conservatives.

I am convinced the entire crazy birther movement is never going to end. I bet Barack Obama does not want it to either. Anyone who is a birther is never going to vote for Obama. They are sworn political opponents. Eliminate the birther issue, and they may accidentally stumble onto something to legitimately oppose the President. Obama must be thrilled that his most vehement political opponents are seen by the rest of American as cracked-in-the-noodle political schizophrenics.

Instead of Watergate and Whitewater, Nixon and Clinton would have loved a looney theory about their births floating about.

So this brings us to today’s birther story in Tennessee, where the Lt. Governor is not sure if the President is a citizen. By the way, Ramsey is running for governor. In a question-and-answer session after his speech to Nashville Republicans’ First Tuesday Club, Lt. Governor Ron Ramsey responded to Maclin Davis, the former attorney for the state Republican Party and partner in a prestigious law firm. (Emphasis is mine)

Davis: Now since the Republicans control both houses of the Tennessee legislature, it seems to me that they might consider passing a state law that says in all future elections no candidate for president can be put on the ballot in Tennessee unless they produce positive proof they are a native-born citizen. If we had one like that a few years ago, we’d be a whole lot better off today. Is there any chance that you would consider that?

Ramsey: … I suppose that every state could individually do that.

Davis: It seems like it would be really good if somebody would file a suit against our present president to get back all the money he’s been paid as president on the grounds he’s not a legitimate president since he’s not a native-born citizen. The great preponderance of the evidence is he’s not a citizen…

Ramsey: … I’ve got a tableful of advisers sitting over there and they’ll probably start cringing right about now when I start talking about some of this stuff right here. … I’m going to tell you something. I don’t know whether President Obama is a citizen of the United States or not. I don’t know what the whole deal is there. But I’m going to tell you something. When you walk out on the street down, people don’t really care about this issue…When we get off on sidelines like that, that’s when people close their ears and don’t listen. I’m not saying you’re not right, Mack, I’m not saying you’re not right. But that’s not how you win elections. We need to prove that Republicans are leaders and that we’re going to stand up.

How do you like that? Ramsey gets on the birther train, then says people do not “care about this issue,” and tries to walk back off. It is a little too late now, Mr. Ramsey.

Someone needs to point Ramsey’s eyes here to see a copy of Obama’s birth certificate and here to see that the state of Hawaii says that it is legitimate and that should be the end of it. I have seen enough of Obama’s birth certificate that I have no worries, but I am starting to wonder about the 43 fellows that preceded him. Are they legit?

• White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emmanuel caught the ire of Sarah Palin when he said that liberal groups who want to run health-care related ads against Democrats are “Fucking retarded.” No, Palin was not sticking up for the liberal groups. She was upset with “Rahm’s slur on all God’s children with cognitive and developmental disabilities.”
• Jenny Sanford reports in her book that Mark Sanford asked her for advice on dealing with the media, and if he should follow his heart and go to his mistress in Argentina.
• Internet bestiality videos have taken a big hit. The Netherlands has been the source of 80% of them, but a new law makes the production of animal pornography illegal. Bestiality is now illegal too. It was legal as long as the animal was not hurt.
• Iran said the satellite that it sent into space contained a rat, two turtles and worms.
• The Pope believes that religious employers should be able to discriminate against homosexuals.
• The UK is asking for its citizens to report terrorist websites.
• Ohio Senator George Voinovich inquired to the National Counterterrorism Center what is being done to help the oppression of women in the Muslim world. “The response to this question is classified” came back the reply.
• A court case may grant felons the right to vote.
• Mexico might clamp down on Twitter because drunk drivers and drug cartels are using it.
• An Ottawa public school has banned balls because they are too dangerous.
• Somalia has banned video games because “they destroy our social traditions.”
• California Rep. Duncan Hunter is worried that once gays and lesbians are openly allowed into the military, then transgenders and hermaphrodites will join as well. I only wonder, “What no eunuchs?”
• A drug that the FDA has declared “Not for use in humans” is being used in livestock right before slaughter.
• President Hamid Karzai claims that Afghanistan is sitting on top of $1 trillion in mineral and oil reserves.

If India wants to be one of the leading nations of the world, it needs to clean house and bring its morality into the twenty-first century.

After a nine-year-old Russian girl vacationing with her family on the beaches of Goa was raped by two Indian men, Pamela Mascarhenas, Goa’s deputy director of tourism, put the blame squarely on the girl, who was wearing a bikini.

“You can’t blame the locals; they have never seen such women. Foreign tourists must maintain a certain degree of modesty in their clothing. Walking on the beaches half-naked is bound to titillate the senses,” Mascarhenas said.

Surely, Mascarhenas was reprimanded by the director, right?

“I have not talked to her [Mascarhenas] on this issue directly, but I think that sentiment has also been echoed by our minister in one or two statements. There is a degree of cultural shock for our native population when they see certain type of dressing,” said Swapnil Naik, director of the Goa tourism department.

Cultural shock when a preteen is seen in a bikini?

Of course, what else are a couple of modest-minded Indian men going to do but rape her?

It is the blame the victim game again.

If they do not want the tourists to come to the beaches, then close it to them or ban bikinis if it is too hard for Indian men to control themselves. When the tourists can only wear long sleeves, trousers and long skirts to the beaches the rapes will go away…because none of the tourists will visit those beaches. That is why a rape here and there is perfectly fine to the tourism officials. All that foreign tourist revenue “is bound to titillate the senses.”

Nevada politicians seem to be a thin-skinned bunch.

Last year, Barack Obama said that federally bailed out companies should not take a trip to Las Vegas “on the taxpayer’s dime.”

Las Vegas Mayor Oscar Goodman did not like Obama’s comment then, and he does not like the one Obama made now.

“Responsible families don’t do their budgets the way the federal government does. Right? When times are tough, you tighten your belts. You don’t go buying a boat when you can barely pay your mortgage. You don’t blow a bunch of cash on Vegas when you’re trying to save for college. You prioritize. You make tough choices. It’s time your government did the same,” said Obama.

That is too much for Goodman.

“An apology won’t be acceptable this time. I want to assure you when he comes I will do everything I can to give him the boot back to Washington and to visit his failures back there,” Goodman responded.

In December, Goodman changed his party affiliation from Democrat to nonpartisan, but party affiliation does not seem to matter when one is a Nevadan politician, and the honor of that dear cash cow Las Vegas is at stake.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid commented, “The President needs to lay off Las Vegas and stop making it the poster child for where people shouldn’t be spending their money.”

Rep. Shelley Berkley, who represents Las Vegas, told Obama that the people of Las Vegas do not deserve his “scorn.”

Rep. Dina Titus also criticized Obama’s “pattern of bashing Las Vegas.”

Reid, Berkley and Titus are all Democrats. Republican Rep. Dean Heller and Senator John Ensign also joined in by condemning Obama’s remarks.

What is so bad about what Obama said?

No reasonable person blows cash on a gambling binge when tough choices have to be made.

What do these Nevada pols want Obama to say?

“Times are tough so bring your unemployment, college savings and social security checks to Vegas and maybe you will hit the big one.”

Goodman, Reid and the rest would probably praise Obama for that comment. At least the administration has not fallen to that level to get us out of the recession.

Obama also said not to buy a boat when there is a mortgage to be paid. I don’t hear the boat manufacturers getting riled up over Obama’s comment, and if they do, they are just as wrong as Nevada’s lawmakers.

Goodman had more to say about Obama.

“This President is a real slow learner,” said Goodman.

Hopefully, the President is not going to learn what Goodman is teaching.

These Nevada politicians are bound so tightly to the casinos that they squeal on demand at the slightest itch of common sense.

• RNC Chair Michael Steele said he will not be a candidate for President in 2012, not that anyone was considering him a serious candidate anyway.
• According to a DailyKos/Research2000 poll, 39% of Republicans want Obama impeached. Only 42% think Obama was born in the United States. 23% want to secede from the Union. 31% believe contraception should be banned. 73% want to ban gays from teaching.
• Utah State Senator Chris Buttars is opposing sex education “that teach these bizarre sexual things like anal sex and lesbian sex.” Buttars stated “I find [it] offensive and 99 percent of people find [it] offensive.”
• A proposed new tax on greenhouse gases has ranches and dairy farms concerned of the possibility of a “cow tax.”
• South Australia has banned anonymous online political comments during an election period.
• The UK’s National Health Service pays for treatment to cure gays and lesbians of homosexuality even though homosexuality was removed as a disease 36 years ago.
• It’s no longer available but Urban Outfitters offered a shirt in “Obama/Black.” I’m waiting for the “Hitler/White” version.
• Barack Obama’s aunt may learn this week if she can stay in the U.S. or be deported to Kenya.
• Florida Congressional candidate Ben Graber listed a $250 campaign donation from his eight-month-old granddaughter.
• Iraq is going to sue the U.S. and Britain over their use of depleted uranium bombs.
• Sudanese authorities called in the seven primary news editors for that country and blamed them for “dumping hazardous electronic waste.”
• The sodomy trial of Malaysian opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim has begun. Most independent observers view it as trumped up charges to discredit him.

You can get your own Scott Brown doll, just as he looked in Cosmopolitan magazine. Of course, this one comes with a fig leaf. Herobuilders.com has a line of political action figures with Brown the latest addition. They have a fully clothed version too.