The Anal Jihad

My hunch is this is a prank, but the possibility of placing a bomb in a jihadi’s anus is a very real threat. At the very least, this draws attention to a potential new terrorist method. On the hand, if this video is legit, it confirms the old adage that those who protest the most about homosexuality are secretly hiding their own sexual desires. Let’s assume this is not a prank.

On a jihadi forum a potential martyr asked a sheik for permission to engage in sodomy for a period of time so that his anus becomes wider for the insertion of explosive capsules. The answer was yes. It is okay to allow a fellow mujahideen to perform sodomy if the intentions are “honorable.” I must assume that it is also “honorable” for the guy who offers up the jihadi penis. All they have to do later is pray for forgiveness to Allah and wait for the next session.

It still sounds like a joke to me, but any opportunity to laugh at a terrorist is welcome. And, it just might be real.

Hawaii Debate on Marriage Equality Brings Out Extremists

Tenari Maafala, the head of Hawaii’s police union, testified before the state legislature on same-sex marriage. Maafala was just one of 5,000 people who wanted to testify on the issue as the House Judiciary Committee took up the bill.

A bill ensuring same-sex marriage is expected to pass the legislature and be signed by Gov. Neil Abercrombie. Yet the opponents to the bill are attempting to blitz the legislature with opposition. It’s going to be difficult to find someone who will push the extremes like Maafala though.

Maafala said that as a police officer it is his responsibility to uphold the law, but if men can marry men and women can marry women then he won’t be able to do that.

“The bottom line is this,” said Maafala, 52, a self-described Hawaiian Samoan. “The day I retire, and bills like this are introduced, I will never, ever, honor such law. You would have to kill me to disrespect and dishonor my father in heaven; You would have to kill me to impose these types of laws upon my children and my nieces and my nephews.”

Police officers with this attitude should retire. It will help clean the bigots out of the system.

Besides, what law is a police officer to enforce if same-sex marriage is legal? How is this going to conflict with any police officers duty? Does Maafala want to arrest gays who are holding hands or kissing in public? He hasn’t felt the need to give up his life over that so why does it matter if a couple is married? Perhaps Maafala thinks it is illegal for someone to marry same-sex couples so that person should be hauled off to jail. How does two people of the same sex becoming married disrespect Maafala’s commitment to his god in anyway? This law isn’t going to force Maafala or his nieces and nephews to marry anyone they don’t want to. A rant like Maafala’s is crazy.

The only disrespect happening here is that this type of kookiness disrespects the principles of debate. There is supposed to be some lines of reasoning in a debate. That’s absent in the “If gays can marry, then I can’t uphold the law and you will have to kill me argument.”

A Vicious Dog, Don’t Say “Rape” Tutoring, Homophobic Campaigning and a Potential Gubernatorial Candidate with Bad Hair

Since I stopped writing regularly on Foolocracy, several people have written to me expressing that they will miss the regular updates on the absurd in politics. Like a Toronto mayor on crack, I must admit that making regular posts is addictive. In the last few days, I found several stories that were too good not to share.

By now, you have probably seen the vicious assault of the Obama’s dog, Sunny, on an innocent little girl. I wonder if Obamacare covers these mishaps.

The National Republican Congressional Committee wants to avoid the mistakes of Todd Akin and Richard Mourdock who doomed their candidacies over comments about rape. The committee is meeting with aids of sitting Republican Congressman to tutor them on how to campaign without saying stupid things that might offend women voters. Of particular emphasis are lessons on how to campaign against women opponents.

In the words of House Speaker John Boehner: “Some of our members just aren’t as sensitive as they ought to be.”

Most males learned that annoying females was inappropriate when they stopped pulling ponytails in fourth grade. Those that didn’t learn took a straight path to Congress.

It’s not just women that Republicans in Congress are offending either. Virginia Rep. Randy Forbes wants the GOP to stop funding gay Republicans running for Congress. There are two notable races in Massachusetts and California where gay Republicans have a chance to defeat incumbent Democrats.

In a positive sign, much of the Republican leadership is not buying Forbes’ homophobic campaign appeal. At least most of the GOP is making politics about politics and not lifestyles. Better gay than Democratic is their mantra, I suppose. I don’t know if there is a connection between anti-gay rhetoric and offending women, but Forbes might be one of the guys who needs to pay special attention to that training on how not to offend women. He looks like a prime candidate for foot in mouth disease.

Donald Trump (Source: BostonJerry (CC))

Finally, some Republican legislators in New York are looking for a candidate to knock off Gov. Andrew Cuomo. So whom are they considering? The Donald, of course. Yes, Donald Trump, the perennial wannabe candidate for president and governor is hosting a delegation of influential Republicans who will beg him to run for governor.

“As Republicans we need to cast a pretty wide net and find the best candidate to beat Gov. Cuomo, and we think that Mr. Trump can beat Mr. Cuomo,” said Assemblyman David DiPietro.

If this is the best you have, it might be good to sit this one out.

Trump running is about as likely as the apocalypse or an alien invasion. Even if Trump ran, he would lose. Trump doesn’t like to lose. He also wouldn’t like to govern. Besides, if he ran for governor, then it would complicate playing hard to get in the 2016 presidential election. Think of Trump as Lucy holding a football and the Republicans as Charlie Brown. That’s exactly how this will turn out.

Florida Tea Party Leader Calls Gay Republicans “Thugs” Who Have Taken Over Party

The divisions that the Tea Party is causing for the Republican Party are clearer than ever in Broward County, Florida. A Tea Party leader there has lashed out at the Log Cabin Republicans, a gay group, by calling them thugs and accusing them of taking over the local Republican Party. If that is true, the Republicans have a far stronger chance of connecting with mainstream voters with the Log Cabin Republicans than the Tea Party has. Danita Kilcullen, the co-founder of the Fort Lauderdale Tea Party doesn’t see it that way as expressed in an email laced with intolerance.

“We must fight with all we have… We must put  pressure on the House like has never been seen before.  I’ll be damned if I will ever be forced to hire someone with orange hair, body/neck/face covered with tattoos, multiple piercings, or a man in a dress… or for that matter, a demonstrative effeminate male or purposeful butch-looking female.  The Log Cabins are the same lobbyist organization that has all but taken over BREC [Broward Republican Executive Committee]; and besides that, we have someone on the Board of BREC who is using her position to openly put pressure on some BREC members to stand for same-sex marriage.

“This is the same group who, based on nothing other than his recent stand for gay marriage, supports Chris Christie and who publicly worked against Cuccinelli for his stand for traditional marriage.  Keep in mind, this is a thug organization with only their own “special interests” in play.  I wonder what they will do with democrat Charlie Crist now running for governor?   I’m betting on them to vote for Charlie, along with some other mousey republicans.  I will now be accused of ‘splitting’ BREC.  I am not!  I am in standing with the Republican Platform, which is what I stated the very night I was sworn-on to BREC.  We must stop this in short!”

Apparently, a group that promotes its platform is now a “thug.” Presumably, that allows applies to groups like the ACLU, Sierra Club and NORMAL. Each of those has their own special interests. Of course, the same can be said for The Heritage Foundation, American Enterprise Institute and some group called the Tea Party. I doubt that Kilcullen would agree to that though.

To form organizations and pursue the agenda of that organization is exactly what the First Amendment was intended. What group is not going to promote its “special interests,” whether that be political or civic like the Shriners fight to aid ill children or Christian Services Charities campaign against hunger? That’s the purpose of an organization. It doesn’t make it a thug by trying to promote its purpose.

Unfortunately, we have seen this before. It is a lock the blinders into place and only see what one wants to see approach. Sooner or later, that attitude is going to be the death of the Tea Party. In the meantime, they are an annoying irritant to more sensible Republicans, the political process and country as a whole.

Jester’s Court — November 27, 2013

The NSA intended to use online porn viewing habits of terrorist sympathizers to discredit them

The list of news agencies boycotting the use of official White House photography is growing, over what it says is an unprecedented lack of access to the president.

Colorado Rep. Jared Polis has introduced a bill to allow marijuana users to buy guns.

58% of Americans want to see Obamacare repealed; 54% believe that the problems plaguing it will be resolved.

California Rep. Darrell Issa’s “Obamacare hearings” are more of a propaganda show, despite what he claims.

In Pennsylvania, the former chairman of Montgomery County’s Republican Party was charged with drugging a female employee of his law firm and raping her while she was unconscious.

An Alabama commissioner claimed that his arrest was unwarranted. He says he couldn’t have wanted to have sex with a 15-year-old girl on Craigslist because he is impotent.

There’s going to be a recount in the Virginia attorney general’s race which was won by 165 votes out of 2.2 million.

An effort to put an initiative on the California ballot that wouldraise the minimum wage to $12 is being pushed by a billionaire conservative activist.

The Italian Senate has voted to oust Silvio Berlusconi from the parliament.

India’s nuclear scientists are dying.

Zimbabwe is moving ahead with banning foreigners from operating many basic businesses.

Angola bans Islam.

Richard Simmons said that the Obamas have “rejected” him.

Sasha Obama has had enough of this presidential stuff.

Colorado School Board Member Suggests Castration for Transgender Students

I can understand the fear of some who think that it is inappropriate for transgender boys and girls to use the restroom or locker rooms of the biologically opposite sex. The fear may not be rational, but at least it is comprehensible from the perspective of people who grew up in a world of white picket fences, green lawns and a husband, wife and two kids with two cars in the garage.

Understandable it may be, but they are still teeming with ignorance.

Back in October, school board member Katherine Svenson of Delta County, Colorado, expressed her displeasure with a California law that allowed students to identify with a gender different from what they were biologically born.

“Massachusetts and California have passed laws relating to calling a student, irrespective of his biological gender, letting him perform as the gender he thinks he is, or she is. I just want to emphasize: not in this district. Not until the plumbing’s changed. There would have to be castration in order to pass something like that around here.”

Requiring castration of teenage boys is an idea that is not going anywhere. Besides, how does Svenson plan on dealing with girls who identify as boys going into the boy’s locker room? Chastity belts with the principal possessing the key?

So far, there has not been an epidemic of sex in the restrooms or locker rooms by boys or girls faking a transgender identity. While teenage boys are horn dogs, the ones who are heterosexual and identify with their biological gender aren’t going to start living like girls so they can get lucky. That Svenson even thinks this is a possibility means that she doesn’t understand what is going on in the minds of the transgendered, or any male for that matter. Perhaps, she just hasn’t figured out how to move logically from a concept to its conclusion without twisting it into a contrived sex plot.

But Svenson’s original comments were made back in October. Perhaps she blurted it out without proper thought during a board meeting. Surely, she has had time to think about her words and modify her thoughts, right? KREX-TV interviewed her last week and found that is not the case:

“I don’t have a problem if some boys think they are girls, I’m just saying as long as they can impregnate a woman, they’re not going to go in the girls’ locker room,” Svenson said.

At least she is consistent. Consistently ignorant.

Berlusconi May Avoid Criminal Sentence if Putin Appoints Him Ambassador to the Vatican

Russia’s Vladimir Putin and Italy’s Silvio Berlusconi have been friends for years. That friendship is paying off for Berlusconi, who is fresh off a conviction for tax fraud and appealing a conviction for having sex with an underaged prostitute. Berlusconi has been sentenced to community service, but he may not have to fulfill that sentence. Indeed, if things work out for the former Italian Prime Minister, then he will be able to live out his remaining days at his foreign villas and never have to face Italian justice again.

This is because Putin is considering appointingBerlusconi as Russia’s ambassador to the Vatican.

As ambassador to the Vatican, Berlusconi, who is also appealing a conviction for sex with an underage prostitute and facing new allegations of a £2.5m bribe to a senator, would receive diplomatic immunity from any custodial sentence and be free to maintain his lavish lifestyle.

Libero, the right-wing Italian newspaper and a supporter of Berlusconi, claimed Putin is ready to appoint the media mogul as his papal emissary, citing unnamed MPs from Berlusconi’s Forza Italia party.

“Yes, Vladimir Putin intends to give Silvio Berlusconi a passport, a diplomatic passport, which would allow him to spend the rest of his days in his foreign residences: Antigua or Bermuda, or perhaps St. Moritz,” the MP said.

An unknown political source told another Italian newspaper: “Putin’s idea is clear: he plans to nominate Berlusconi as ambassador to the Holy See, a strategy that would save him from persecution by the judiciary.”

Imagining the billionaire, highly sexed Berlusconi as an ambassador to the Pope stretches credulity, especially since Berlusconi is as he describes “100% Italian.”

Both Putin and Berlusconi deny that the appointment is under consideration, but what other response could they give? They aren’t going to telegraph their intentions while Berlusconi is still plotting his political future. Given the nature of these two, nothing should be a surprise.

Monticello, New York, Mayor’s Third Arrest in Five Years Leads to Meltdown

Gordon Jenkins, the mayor of Monticello, New York, was arrested recently for driving while under the influence. In 2011, he pleaded guilty to selling fake goods. In 2012, he was arrested for striking a man and a police officer. In most places, excepting the crack-smoking mayors of Toronto and Washington, D.C., this would lead to a quick political exit. Despite calls for Jenkins to resign, he remains steadfast at staying in office.

While in the police station, the mayor went into profanity-laced tirade, threatened police officers and ripped a clock off the wall while handcuffed. Here is part of the transcript from the police video, which is hard to hear because so many words are beeped out.

“You know something, Davis?” he [Jenkins] says to one officer at the start of the footage. “I’m the one that hired you in this job, man. I mean, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter about that.

“But you know something? How the fuck you guys going to play the game?” Shortly afterwards, the officer professionally refers to him as “sir” but Jenkins shoots back: “Don’t call me sir.”

“Mayor? Is that better?” the policeman says. “Don’t call me mayor,” Jenkins replies.

“Call me nigger, because that’s what I am when I’m right here in handcuffs. But you know something? I don’t give a fuck.”

Later, Jenkins threatens a policeman.

“What are you going to do? Put me in jail five years? I’ll get out in five years, and I going to fucking tell you what the fuck you did to me, and I’m going to come back to you.”

Someone needs to show this mayor the exit. At least the people of Toronto can claim that they don’t have the only out of control mayor in North America.

Palin Tries to Explain Alternatives to Obamacare and Her Position on Tort Reform

Sarah Palin has the politician’s spiel down pat. Ask her a specific question and she drones on in vague phrases and unrelated subjects. There may not be anyone better at doing this in American politics, except she does this so often that it is too obvious.

In a recent interview with Matt Lauer, she avoided providing an alternative to Obamacare, which remains the gaping hole in its critics plan to dismantle it.

Somewhere, Lauer said that only 5% of Americans are losing their old healthcare plans. Palin was right to call him out on that ridiculous number, but one good point is all Palin is capable of making per interview. After that, the interview deteriorated.

The Obamacare rollout has been a disaster. That doesn’t mean its implementation will be, but the Obama administration has to get its act together to prevent an election year catastrophe. That there are problems should not be a surprise. Every major piece of social legislation in history has had initial problems from Social Security to Medicare.

Obamacare critics want to dismantle and defund Obamacare, but the alternative, as proposed by Palin, leaves one wanting or guessing:

“The plan is to allow those things that had been proposed over many years to reform a health care system in America that certainly does need more help so that there’s more competition, there’s less tort reform threat, there’s less trajectory of the cost increases? And those plans have been proposed over and over again. And what thwarts those plans? It’s the far left. It’s President Obama and his supporters who will not allow the Republicans to usher in free market, patient-centered, doctor-patient relationship links to reform health care.”

Actually, the Obamacare plan is one of those “things that had been proposed over many years,” starting back in the 1990s as an alternative to the Clinton health care plan.

Who is against a “free market, patient-centered, doctor-patient relationship link” for medical reform? Some people will disagree with the “free market” aspect, preferring a government-run system. Obamacare is not that. There is still plenty of free market in it, which is one of the problems with the higher rates for many middle class Americans. Put a health care plan with the phrase Palin used and there will be near universal support from Americans. The problem is that it has nothing in specifics.

Palin refers to liberals thwarting previous plans put forward for reform, but she doesn’t refer to a single specific plan. According to Palin, more competition will mean fewer increases in costs. That applies to most industries operating under a free market, but it hasn’t worked over the years for medical care. Medical care is an essential service, often needed in times of an emergency. The pick and choose aspect of the free market doesn’t always apply to it. Furthermore, increasingly expensive and effective medical technologies blow a hole through any budget. Add in a system that keeps people alive at the end of life with enormous costs, and the old free market, competition approach is lacking as a solution by itself.

Palin’s free market solution misses a big selling point with Obamacare. That is the right to get insurance for pre-existing conditions without paying an exorbitant premium. Laissez-faire medicine is not going to be a path to paradise. America once had that with traveling hucksters selling miracle concoctions that didn’t do anything but fatten their wallets. If you have a pre-existing condition, then you really don’t want a solely free-market health care system.

Palin says little that is specific in her comments, except one odd phrase. She wants “less tort reform threat.” What? Usually conservatives want tort reform and pro-consumer and lawyer groups want to keep the system.

In 2009, Palin came out for tort reform, even claiming that it would save $200 billion a year on “frivolous” lawsuits. That’s a ridiculous number, but the statement highlights her confusion about tort reform. Is she for it or against it? I think she’s for it. Yet, in her comments to Lauer, she was so caught up in avoiding the specific question on alternatives to Obamacare that she doesn’t even know what she is saying.

Palin is impossible to debate because she operates in circular, twisted arguments. She also makes Tea Party hacks like Michele Bachmann and Rick Santorum look like intellectual giants by comparison. It’s hard to understand what her supporters see in her.

Feinstein NSA Bill Will Expand Spying Powers

While the rest of the country is upset about the broad net cast by the National Security Agency on its spying, California Sen. Diane Feinstein has a solution: Expand the NSA powers to peep into people’s lives.

A number of bills have been proposed to limit the NSA’s spying, but Feinstein’s is not one of those. She wants to give the NSA a blank check for the first 72 hours a foreigner is on American soil.

The legislation would make clear in no uncertain terms that communication records like phone, email, and internet data can be collected without even an ounce of suspicion, pursuant to the so-called privacy rules already in place. Being silent on other types of data like location information or financial records, it passively condones their collection too, but without even the benefit of the paltry protections in place now. For the first time in history, Congress would explicitly and intentionally authorize dragnet domestic spying programs targeting every day Americans.

The Feinstein bill also makes the current situation even worse. It gives the government a 72-hour grace period to warrantlessly spy on foreigners who enter the US, without even the attorney general approval that is currently required in emergency situations. It explicitly states that none of its provisions should be read to prevent law enforcement from digging through massive NSA databases for evidence of criminal activity. By doing so, it authorizes that specific practice in a roundabout way. Finally, it sets up the prospect of all members of Congress accessing important court orders and other information, but then undercuts this requirement by endorsing current rules and practices that have been used to prevent members of the House from reading foundational documents that could inform the votes they must make on whether to continue these programs.

Basically, what Feinstein is proposing to solve the problem of the NSA overstepping its boundaries is to draw the circle of those boundaries wider. The problem is solved then. There wouldn’t be any more illegal spying because it would then be legal. In the name of national security, the Bill of Rights can be placed through the shredder.

These problems originated because of the Patriot Act, which overextended the rights of the government to meddle into Americans’ lives. Even one of the authors of the Patriot Act realizes that it was too broad. Wisconsin Rep. James Sensenbrenner (a Republican) and Vermont Senator Patrick Leahy (a Democrat) have proposed an alternative. Sensenbrenner was a strong proponent of the Patriot Act, but at least he can see a mistake and propose alternatives to fix it. Real alternatives, unlike the deception Feinstein proposes.

The USA Freedom Act of Sensenbrenner and Leahy would halt the NSA’s suspicionless spying on phone calls. The NSA’s bulk information collection techniques would be limited. Essentially, this bill strips away the wall that the NSA has hid behind and proposes a far more transparent process while still allowing for legitimate information gathering.

On social issues, Feinstein can stake a liberal position, but when it comes to national security and the Bill of Rights, she has consistently carved positions that allow for Big Brother-friendly government. Her new bill is a big mistake. Hopefully, there has been enough outrage in the country over the NSA to keep her solutions from becoming law. If it does pass, there is little hope that Obama will veto it. The U.S. will then move one step further away from a free society.