Jester’s Court — November 19, 2013


doubtfulToronto Mayor Rob Ford has had a “come-to-Jesus” and has given up drinking. He also said that he hasn’t done drugs for a year.

surpriseFormer conservative New York Police Commissioner Bernie Kerik, released from prison last may for financial improprieties, has become a liberal on prison reform.

newsA Missouri lawmaker is getting a new trial on animal abuse because the legislature changed the law.

newsA Massachusetts selectman resigned because his duties conflicted with his relationship with Jesus and need to help the underprivileged.

newsAn Alabama legislator has introduced a bill to require pedophiles who molest victims younger than 12 to be forcibly castrated at their own expense.

miscellaneousThe husband of former Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris, who became known nationally for her role in the contested 2000 presidential election, was found dead of an apparent suicide at the couple’s mansion

half-witFlorida Rep. Trey Radel is due to be arraigned on cocaine possession charges.

governmentsMissouri is due to execute a murderer in which the state will for the first time use a lethal dose of pentobarbital obtained from a secret pharmacy.

awkwardDemocrats aren’t calling it Obamacare anymore.

OopsBarack Obama misstated that 100 million people have signed up for his healthcare program.

internationalIran concedes on its right to enrich uranium.

internationalPope Francis denounced Pat Buchanan and Sarah Palin, calling their recent objections to his leadership style “confusing,” “hypocritical” and “borderline-heresy.”

Posted in Governments | Leave a comment

Michele Bachmann: Obama Let North Korea Get Nuclear Weapons

Michele Bachmann (Source: Gage Skidmore (CC))

Michele Bachmann (Source: Gage Skidmore (CC))

According to Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann, North Korea’s development of nuclear weapon capability is Barack Obama’s fault. That fact is that North Korea conducted a nuclear test in 2006. George W. Bush was President then. As we know with Bachmann, little details involving the truth matter little to her when it comes to political posturing.

“Why do they want to allow Iran to obtain a nuclear weapon, just like they did with North Korea? The Obama administration and Wendy Sherman [Obama administration negotiator] in particular will have to answer that, I can’t. I don’t understand them, I don’t understand the thoughts and intentions of their heart,” Bachmann said.

It’s not enough of a distortion for Bachmann to place North Korean nuclear capability on Obama. Nope, she has to declare that Obama wants Iran to get nuclear weapons.

Where does Bachmann get ideas like that? Perhaps she spends her free time listening to conspiracists. There are plenty of made-up conspiracies that have everything from Obama’s birth in Kenya to the creation of concentration camps for his political opponents. Why not throw a new one into the mix?

Prior to the North Korea comment, Bachmann even called Obama’s position on Iran treasonous and an impeachable offense.

Treason is an impeachable offense. The weak link is that there is no evidence that Obama is trying to provide aid and comfort America’s enemies. In this case, Iran. Again, why should Bachmann worry about the facts, when she can make them up? For her supporters, it’s all red meat to keep them filled with lies.

Posted in Michele Bachmann | Leave a comment

Jester’s Court — November 18, 2013


awkwardThe Cheney family has a very public disagreement over same-sex marriage.

internationalVietnam sentenced corrupt bankers to death.

newsThe Pentagon will discipline former SEAL Team 6 member Matt Bissonnette for his book “No Easy Day” that gives a first-person account of the raid that killed al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden.

newsWisconsin is considering ending early voting on weekends.

foolishA Massachusetts selectman proposed inspecting homes to make sure that guns were properly stored.

governmentsAccounting waste and fraud is common for the Pentagon.

quotesBill Clinton: “I hope we have a woman president in my lifetime.”

kudosCalifornia Assemblyman Tom Donnelly performs the Heimlich maneuver on a choking woman.

bizarreHawaii State Rep. Tom Brower scours the streets with a sledgehammer while looking for grocery carts to destroy.

Hawaii News Now – KGMB and KHNL

OopsToronto Mayor Rob Ford runs over a woman during the city council debate that stripped him of most of his powers.

Posted in Jester's Court | Leave a comment

Former DEA Chief Compares Marijuana to Heroin

In the last 30 years, public attitudes toward marijuana and the war on drugs have softened. Yet there are plenty of drug warriors out there who are determined to fight to the end and spend every tax dollar they can get on a struggle that has cost billions and destroyed lives.

(Source: Wikimedia)

(Source: Wikimedia)

Peter Bensinger, the former DEA chief in the Carter Administration, is upset that Illinois had adopted a medical marijuana program. His response proves that marijuana does impair rational thinking or, at least, the opposition to marijuana does.

“The citizens of Illinois lost. They’ve compromised their safety and the exposure of kids to marijuana. Eighteen-year-olds can take this without a parent’s permission. And you have to only look at other states to see what’s happened.

“In Colorado, the grades have gone down in the high schools, the drug violations have gone up and the highway traffic fatalities from people smoking pot and driving have tripled. One person is dying every week because someone is driving a vehicle and has smoked marijuana.”

These types of distortions are straight out of Reefer Madness.

First of all, pot was just legalized one year ago in Colorado. It took months for the state to put together its regulations. It would be amazing if marijuana suddenly sent grades plummeting within just a few months of its legalization, particularly since pot smoking is still as illegal as it was prior to legalization for those who are under the age of 18.

Bensinger is arguing that since people 18 and older can smoke pot, then 14, 15, 16 and 17 year olds are getting dumber. Yeh, someone is getting dumber, and Bensinger doesn’t need to go too far to find out whom.

Besides, standardized tests are usually conducted to measure how well students are performing, not an analysis of their grades – if one has even occurred since pot was legalized.

According to Bensinger’s own words, automobile fatalities from pot smoking have tripled since marijuana was legalized. It is now happening once a week instead of once every three weeks. Assuming that drivers started puffing a joint before driving immediately after the legalization vote, then fatalities from driving while stoned would have increased from roughly 17 or 18 a year to 52.

The facts are that Colorado experienced a four-year drop in fatalities from 2008 to 2011 before rising in 2012. That was before marijuana was legalized and while it’s uses for medical purposes was expanding. If anything, the evidence shows that auto fatalities have declined in recent years as marijuana smoking became more accepted. That shouldn’t be a surprise since people feel more comfortable smoking in their homes. In fact, a study by the University of Colorado – Denver with 17 states that liberalized marijuana laws had fatalities drop 8-11% the first year.

When asked if he believes that marijuana reduces chronic pain, Bensinger replied, “So will heroin. So will other drugs.”

Sure, heroin works at reducing pain, and better than marijuana. Of course, the side effects are far worse.

That is the way the anti-drug warriors have framed their argument for the last century. They distort the facts. No, they make up their own “facts.” When that doesn’t work, they lump all drugs together as if smoking a joint is the same as shooting heroin or taking PCP. That’s because in their minds marijuana is a gateway drug to all the real bad stuff, but not cigarettes or alcohol.

Fortunately, the side of distortion and fear is losing. Hopefully, the time will come when the entire nation can save some tax dollars by disposing of the drug war and prisons can be used for real criminals.

Posted in Colorado, Peter Bensinger | Leave a comment

Prime Minister Rob Ford?

robfordfool1Voters always ask for candor in a politician. In Rob Ford, Toronto voters have more than they bargained for. It would be refreshing to have a politician like Rob Ford speak without spinning every sentence — if his comments were not about smoking crack, drunken stupors and oral sex. In the last few weeks, the Toronto mayor has become a parody for candor. He has also turned upside down the straight-laced, unemotional image the world has of Canadians.

Over the last couple of decades, a number of politicians have stepped into highly embarrassing scandals. Former Washington, D.C., Mayor Marion Barry was busted for smoking crack. Bill Clinton was discovered having oral sex in the White House. Idaho Senator Larry Craig denied his bathroom foot tapping was a pickup for gay sex. Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi cavorted with prostitutes. All became running jokes in politics. Enter Ford, and Barry, Clinton, Craig and Berlusconi almost look like Boy Scouts.

Ford has even imitated Clinton on splitting hairs over the definition of words. Questioned for lying that he ever smoked crack, Ford said that he didn’t lie because he was asked “Do you smoke crack?” instead of “Have you smoked crack?” It’s like the old joke where an alcoholic is asked if he has stopped drinking and responds that he did an hour ago.

Every time Ford opens his mouth, something absurd comes out. This last week he publicly denied having oral sex with a former staffer because he can get plenty of that at home. Ford has already blamed his crack smoking on one of his drunken stupors. That should be the end of his political career, but it looks like we are going to have plenty of Rob Ford to see for at least the next year.

Ford is up for election next year and plans to begin fundraising for his reelection campaign in January. This isn’t just a defiant Ford making a futile last stand. He may trail in every poll, but the mayor has 20-30% of the vote in matchups against opponents. This is during a week when the press can’t get any worse for Ford. As things settle down, his numbers will increase. His chances at reelection are slim, but Ford has a year to rebuild that image. Surprisingly, he also has lots of supporters.

Despite being told by the Canadian Football League’s commissioner to stay away from a CFL playoff game involving the Toronto Argonauts, Ford showed up and hoisted a replica of the championship Grey Cup trophy over his head. While he endured a few catcalls from upset fans, the bulk of the crowd chanted his name. Crowds tend to gather around a disaster. Ford is one of those, but many of these people are drawn to support Ford, not castigate him. In a world of professional politics, Ford is talking bluntly. For some people, he has become an anti-politician. For the rest of us, he is just a fool.

Anthony Weiner couldn’t break out of single figures in the vote to be mayor of New York. All Weiner did is send pictures of his junk to young women. Weiner has a problem, but it isn’t anything like Ford’s multiple problems. Yet even in the midst of his scandal, four in ten Toronto voters have not ruled out backing the mayor in the future. That is the subtle difference between Weiner and Ford. Weiner acted squirrely and perverted. Ford may be an embarrassment, but his defiance and crude talk makes him look strong and a bit like an average working-class guy. That’s unlikely to transfer into votes, but it may be too early to completely bury Ford’s political career.

If Ford can somehow win reelection, he may be around for a long time. Even now, Ford, the mayor of Canada’s largest city, has his eyes on something else. In an interview with Fox News, Ford said:

“I want to talk about my political record. If you wanna get personal I think we can get personal with anybody, not just politicians, everybody in their life has done something they don’t want people to know about more than once. So John, the bottom line is I know I’ve saved taxpayers money, I know about customer service, I take a business approach to running this city…I take that same approach to politics so if people want to start bringing up personal stuff that’s fine and yes, one day I do want to run for Prime Minister.”

Prime Minister Rob Ford.

Unlikely. If that happens, this world will be turned upside down. On the upside, Ford might be able to liven things up at a G20 meeting with his crack pipe.

Posted in Fool of the Week, Rob Ford | Leave a comment

Jester’s Court — November 16-17, 2013


half-witA Pennsylvania mayor was found guilty on five charges stemming from firing a gun during a drunken encounter with another man that he wanted to perform oral sex on.

politicsNewly elected New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio is the first white politician in U.S. history elected to a major office with a black spouse.

politicsThe attorney general race in Virginia remains too close to call. The legislature has the ability to declare a winner even if one candidate gets fewer votes.

politicsThe first “Duck Dynasty” funded candidate is elected to Congress.

governmentsThe Obama administration proposed the first-ever cut in the amount of corn-based ethanol and other biofuels that must be mixed into the nation’s gasoline.

governmentsThe Obama administration carved out another category of illegal immigrants it says it will no longer deport — in this case saying that relatives of U.S. troops and veterans who previously served can apply to stay in the country.

internationalRussia wants to build GPS systems on U.S. soil.

internationalAfter disappearing in Russia’s draconian prison system, Pussy Riot member Nadya Tolokonnikova has been located in a remote hospital in good condition. Apparently, Tolokonnikova has been shaking up the Russian prison system with her activism.

internationalNepal imposed a two-day election silence, which bans all political campaigning to enable voters to think over their choices before the country votes.

internationalMore than 20 people were arrested during the Maldives elections for showing their marked voting slips, which is a criminal offence.

internationalLebanon will go ahead with plans to issue banknotes marking 70 years since its independence despite a spelling mistake on the commemorative currency.

internationalAustralia releases the video stamp.

Posted in Jester's Court | Leave a comment

Jester’s Court — November 15, 2013


quotesNew York Rep. Charlie Rangel: “If I had the problem, saying you’re sorry doesn’t help me worth a damn at the polls, unless I can staple your remarks to the ballot.”

politicsA socialist candidate is on the verge of being elected to the Seattle city council.

kudosDefense Secretary Chuck Hagel said that the American people have grown skeptical about using military force and the Pentagon should play a more limited role in future US foreign policy.

newsLouie Gohmert cites the Bible as a guide to foreign policy relations with Israel.

newsThere have been 16 cyberattacks on, but none considered significant thus far.

newsThe Secret Service visited pro-gun advocates in Texas after they suggested Obama should be taken to Dealey Plaza in Dallas when he visits. Dealey Plaza is where Kennedy was assassinated.

newsThe global warming “pause” may have been underestimated.

miscellaneousThe Sarah Palin robotic speech generator.

internationalRob Ford is warning more scandals may come.

internationalIkea provided more aid to the victims of the Philippine typhoon than China.

foolishWhat can go wrong if you are a city clerk in Florida and want to throw a party? Just ask some friends for cash and refuse to report who gave it and how it was spent.

Posted in Jester's Court | Leave a comment

Louisiana Councilmember Wants to Cut Library Funding because They Teach Mexicans English

Lindel Toups (Source: Lafourche Parish)

Lindel Toups (Source: Lafourche Parish)

In Louisiana, Lafourche Parish Council Chair Lindel Toups wants a new jail built. He doesn’t want to raise taxes for it so he has a suggestion: cut funding for the public library. Toups figures that’s a good place to find the funds for the jail because Mexicans are learning English at the library. Actually, Toups should take advantage of those English lessons himself.

“They’re teaching Mexicans how to speak English,” he said, referring to one library’s Hispanic-language section, Biblioteca Hispana. “Let that son of a bitch go back to Mexico.”

But it’s not just Mexicans Toups is concerned about. Whether that is just one son of a bitch Mexican or many, as Toups likes to call them, he doesn’t make clear.

“There’s just so many things they’re doing that I don’t agree with,” he said. “Them junkies and hippies and food stamps (recipients) and all, they use the library to look at drugs and food stamps (on the Internet). I see them do it.”

If libraries could lure junkies to look at drugs on the internet, then that sounds like a fair deal to get them off the street and stop using them. With Toups, it’s hard to know what he’s talking about. Maybe he’s worried the junkies are buying the drugs off the internet, which would be a bit upscale for most junkies who take theirs from the street corner.

Let’s look at the positive side of all this. At least we know that Toups does go inside a library, even if he can’t figure out what’s happening in there.

Toups and the Parish Council are pushing for the residents to pass a measure to build the new 540-bed jail by cutting $800,000 out of the library’s $6.4 million budget for the next 30 years.

There’s one other relevant fact. Toups’ son and grandson were incarcerated at the old jail after being arrested on meth charges. Maybe they are the ones he went to the library. Next time, Toups should wander over to Biblioteca Hispana. He might learn something.

Posted in Lindel Toups, Louisiana | Leave a comment

Jester’s Court — November 14, 2013


internationalToronto Mayor Rob Ford’s supporters are using the Ford Motor Company oval logo to express their support for the Mayor and the automaker is not happy about it. The real news is that Rob Ford has supporters.

internationalA Russian lawmaker wants to ban the dollar in Russia.

internationalMilitant Islamist rebels in Syria linked to al-Qaeda have asked for “understanding and forgiveness” for cutting off and putting on display the wrong man’s head.

internationalThe anti-fracking Pope.

newsNew York City has at least two councilmembers who refuse to recite the pledge of allegiance. One wants Puerto Rico independent and the other considers the U.S. racist.

newsMichele Bachmann said that she lost her health insurance because of Obamacare.

newsHouse Speaker John Boehner predicted  the president’s signature health care law would never work and that there was no way for Congress to fix it.

newsA “Not See” personalized license plate was approved by the California DMV. The owner puts a swastika above the plate.

doubtfulTed Cruz said that he didn’t want the government shutdown.

foolishTed Cruz’ father has more to say: Atheism and secular humanism leads to sexual perversion. That doesn’t explain priests who abuse children though.

Posted in Jester's Court | Leave a comment

At Least Rob Ford is Happily Married and Likes to Eat Out

Rob Ford (Source: Shaun Merritt (CC))

Rob Ford (Source: Shaun Merritt (CC))

Rob Ford must be the most brutally honest politician in North America, if not the world. Who else explains away a night snorting cocaine by blaming it on a “drunken stupor?” If you thought that was the worst the Toronto Mayor could say, then take a listen to the audio below.

Ford explains that he is suing people for trashing his name with lies. He’s done a good job of doing that all by himself. According to Ford, one of his former staffers also claimed that Ford told her that he wanted to have oral sex with her. Yet in the world of Ford, oral sex is not colorful enough of a phrase in itself.

“The last thing is Olivia Gondek said I want to eat her pussy. I’ve never said that in my life to her. I would never do that. I’m happily married and I’ve got more than enough to eat at home,” Ford said.

Posted in Rob Ford | Leave a comment